


Oblivious

by darkrogue1 (Lily_Haydee_Lohdisse)



Category: Kyou Kara Maou!
Genre: M/M, except nothing is happening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-15
Updated: 2007-02-15
Packaged: 2018-07-29 14:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7687801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Haydee_Lohdisse/pseuds/darkrogue1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Conrad loves him, Wolfram loves him, and as usual, Yuuri remains oblivious to all that…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Yuuri's pov

**Author's Note:**

> Beta-read by slytherisa

Gunther finally let me out… I find paperwork really tiring, so I hurry down the corridor before he changes his mind and calls me back to work. Murata is standing by a window, watching the rain and seemingly casually conversing with Yosak.

As I near, bits of their conversation carry to me. I catch a name; they are talking about Wolfram… and about me. Then Yosak says: "I can’t believe how dense that boy can be." And I hurry past them, ignoring their talk.

I know. I know, and sometimes it’s just frustrating, but I still won’t address this problem. Because it is not really a problem, is it? The fact that I don‘t notice things. At least it is not the heart of the problem…

They love me. Conrad does, Wolfram too. A lot of other people might as well, but of those two I am sure. This is the whole problem, because I can’t do anything about it. Because I can’t make them both happy.

I love them. Both. Maybe differently, because they are not the same person. But I mostly want them both to be happy, with me. I want them to stay by my side, as they are. Why does it have to be so difficult?

They want me, and I can’t respond to that. Wolfram is my fiancé, but I can’t bring myself to fully acknowledge him. Because I love Conrad and I know Conrad loves me too. And even if I know he would root for his brother, I wouldn’t be happy with Wolfram, knowing Conrad is unhappy without me. Then I believe Wolfram would be unhappy as well, and Conrad would feel guilty and maybe he would even try to leave… I don’t want that. I couldn’t bear it.

I can’t break up with Wolfram either, because he loves me, and I love him too, and he would be unhappy, and then I couldn’t be fully happy with Conrad… And Conrad would be unhappy as well, because he cares for his brother. Then we would all be miserable and I don’t want it happening that way either.

So I ignore them, their feelings. I keep acting surprised, dumb, uncomprehending. I force myself to protest every time someone suggests love between men. I smile and laugh with each of them, and even though it gets tense sometimes, they smile right back at me. Because as long as I am oblivious to their love, it’s all right for me to spend time with both of them.

The truth is I’m playing for time because I can’t find a solution. At least, as long as I am oblivious, they won’t ask me to choose.


	2. Conrad's pov

To be or not to be… how to act is the question. However much I may try to find humour in my situation, I find it hopelessly tragic. I look at His Majesty, a few meters away, and when he looks at me, I smile. I would not want to worry him.

The situation is dreary, and it is my fault. Because I keep falling in love with the wrong person. Now Yuuri and Wolfram are caught with me in this mess, and I’m having trouble finding the best way out for all of us.

I’m in love with Yuuri, who is betrothed to my little brother. As soon as this love was born, I had resigned myself that it was impossible, hopeless. I did not want to betray Wolfram. I thought I could love him from afar, keep it hidden and tacit, but it was my duty to remain by His Majesty’s side. I saw no harm in staying there. How wrong I was!

He is Hope personified. Every little comment, smile, and look encouraged me to dream on, to believe I had a right to keep loving him… it showed. He knows… and I don’t know how to act.

The honourable way out would be to leave, to request the right to resign and leave space for Yuuri to fully love my brother. I know how he cares for him, he told me…

But he pleaded me not to leave again as well… besides… he knows, yet he has not changed his behaviour. Touches and glances from me elicit no reprieve. He smiles at me fondly and every single time my heart jumps in my chest. And as unbelievable as it may be, I feel that Yuuri cares for me.

I love him, Wolfram loves him, and he possibly cares for us both. I am feeling as if my time spent with Yuuri was at Wolfram’s detriment. It probably is.

I watched His Majesty for clues how to behave. Though he knows, he acts oblivious. He protests too forcedly at suggestions that men could love him, he purposefully ignores the way Wolfram, Gunther and I act… and he still smiles at me. All that makes me hope he feels something akin to love for me and it prevents me from trying to leave, or to breech the subject with him.

I know this is hard on Wolfram, but Yuuri’s lack of reaction helps. It is all my fault in the first place and I should do the right thing… but as long as Yuuri acts oblivious I feel I may hazard to leave things as they are.

O Time, halt in your flight… I don’t want to renounce him yet, though I know I’ll have to. At least, as long as Yuuri acts oblivious, I may stay by his side.


	3. Wolfram's pov

He knows. I know he does. At first it hurt, when I noticed his being too oblivious was an act. Especially when he did it to bar me, to prevent our relations to deepen. The "But … two men together?!!!" thing. Why should he feel the need to ignore me, his loving fiancé? It was a long time before I understood.

I noticed how close he was to Conrad, to my brother. I was jealous… I still am. They love each other, it’s obvious. But sometimes I felt like Yuuri loved me, from the way he behaved around me, smiled at me…

Now I understand. He does like me, like us, both at least. He repeated it often enough for me to finally get it: "Love is not meant for just one person." He loves us all.

He loves me too, it is a relief. That and the fact that he never called the engagement off, however much he might have protested about it not being intentional. It keeps me going, the hope that he might finally stay with me and only me, choose me.

But I can’t ask him that. Like I said earlier he loves us both, he wants to share his love. I have the feeling that if we asked him to choose now, he would turn away from us both. He’d rather reject us than choose one of us over the other. He would prefer to have both of us hopeless and sad rather than one ecstatic and the other heartbroken.

I understand why he behaves the way he does, even though I don’t like it. So I enjoy what he can give me: smiles, moments together with Greta, his presence at night. I protest for the form, so that he may keep being oblivious. At least, as long as he acts this way, I don’t have to fear too much that he would choose someone over me.

I live in a fragile moment of balance, and pray for it to remain some time longer. At least, as long as Yuuri acts oblivious, I don’t have to ask him to choose.


End file.
